October 2009
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Hiring a Legal Assistant 101


"Do you really think that I’m perfect for the job?"

Helpful hints for finding and hiring a legal assistant:

  • Make sure you use an online listing service.  Craigslist is always a good one.
  • Always do a good job of describing what you’re looking for.  Use explicit language, whenever possible.  For example, stating that you are seeking an “energetic woman” for “general secretarial work, some paralegal work and additional duties for two lawyers” seems to be a winner.
  • Next, in addition to a resume, be sure to ask for some personal information, such as photographs and “a description of your physical features, including measurements.”
  • When you receive applications, always follow up with an email, including more information about what the position entails.  Here’s a great example of the kind of thing you should write:  “In addition to the legal work, you would be required to have sexual interaction with me and my partner, sometimes together sometimes separate.  This part of the job would require sexy dressing and flirtatious interaction with me and my partner, as well as sexual interaction.”
  • To be sure that everyone understands what is expected, you will want to make performing sexually a part of the interview process.


H/T Becky

…and after you’ve hired your dream assistant, here‘s some advice on keeping her.

This story was originally published on The Legal Satyricon.

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