GaneshaFish.com » off topic

Romantic Advice

jfischer1975 — Fri, 25 Jun 2010 18:28:55 +0000

This article was originally published on The Legal Satyricon

FSM Displays His Awesome Might

jfischer1975 — Tue, 15 Jun 2010 17:17:14 +0000

His blessed sauceliness has declared, “Thou shalt have no other monsters before me.”

H/T Jessica K.

This article was originally published on The Legal Satyricon

Jorgensen, How could you?

jfischer1975 — Mon, 03 May 2010 13:04:45 +0000

Christopher Jorgensen, of JackassLetters.com infamy, has further demonstrated his complete lack of sensitivity, yet again, this past weekend. In an appalling display of callousness, he has posted a scanned image only of his latest letter response from Attorney Scott Greenfield, leaving text-only browser users completely in the dark. We here at GaneshaFish just won’t stand for that kind of discrimination. Anyone using a TRS-80, who was unable to enjoy the above-mentioned letter, take heart. We have provided a transcript below.

Dear Mr. Jorgenson [sic]:

Thank you for your letter explaining why you will not, and cannot, write to me. As you note, “no one ever reads the ‘FUQ‘ on your website.” It would be wrong of me to be the first, and I shall not demean the sanctity of your FUQs by reading them. While they may not remain virginal forever, I would feel dirty to be the first.

However, I remain confused about the reference in you letter (the one explaining why you will not write to me) about a “joke”. What joke would that be? I love jokes, and would very much look forward to reading one of your creation. Please let me know with greater specificity when and if you have a joke that I can enjoy. I so look forward to it.

Also, your being from Des Moines, would this be the first ever joke to come from there? If so, I would like to announce it, and perhaps get you the key to the City. It would be a great honor for you, but you deserve it if you can be the first from Des Moines to create a joke. Just so you know, I have eaten in Des Moines. It wasn’t very funny at all.

As I am not a comedian (and in fact, I am a lawyer), I promise not to steal your joke or use it without attribution. I really hope it’s a good one. Is Jorgenson [sic] a Jewish name?

Very truly yours,

s/Scott H. Greenfield

When the Zombie Apocalypse Comes . . .

jfischer1975 — Sun, 28 Mar 2010 19:27:46 +0000

…and the roadways are choked with abandoned vehicles, I will still be able to travel cross country.

Thanksgiving at the Vatican, The John Paul Years

jfischer1975 — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 17:11:09 +0000

Sounds like a conversation with my wife…

jfischer1975 — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 14:23:33 +0000

g33k chicks are awesome

jfischer1975 — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 14:20:05 +0000

"Jabba’s barge has a pretty chill after party. Yeah, we’re just kickin’ back drinking a few Supernovas and gettin’ a tan."

It’s never too early to learn…

jfischer1975 — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 15:20:49 +0000

"Now, relax your throat… that's it…"

It’s official… The Nobel Prizes have lost all significance

jfischer1975 — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 09:36:51 +0000

You know what would be cool? If I could use my fortune to establish a prize for doing nothing! Imagine it... "And the Nobel Prize for doing Jack Shit goes to..."

Maybe I’m just too young to realize that it’s always been effed up this way, but when I was a kid, I used to think it meant something to hear that someone had won a Nobel Prize. Now it is clearly just a leftist love fest with no real accomplishment value whatsoever.

Congratulations, President Obama, on your meaningless award that you got for ~~playing basketball with the boys in the White House instead of bowling~~ giving the world hope. Great Success!! High Five!!

This story was originally published on The Legal Satyricon.

Words to live by…

jfischer1975 — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 20:38:49 +0000

I was reminded of this little gem last night as I was driving home from work… after dark…

If you’ve never read this commencement speech by Neal Boortz, you really should. Take a few minutes and read it all the way through. If you have read it before, it doesn’t hurt to read it again.

I am honored by the invitation to address you on this august occasion. It’s about time. Be warned, however, that I am not here to impress you; you’ll have enough smoke blown your way today. And you can bet your tassels I’m not here to impress the faculty and administration.

You may not like much of what I have to say, and that’s fine. You will remember it though. Especially after about 10 years out there in the real world. This, it goes without saying, does not apply to those of you who will seek your careers and your fortunes as government employees.

This gowned gaggle behind me is your faculty. You’ve heard the old saying that those who can – do. Those who can’t – teach. That sounds deliciously insensitive. But there is often raw truth in insensitivity, just as you often find feel-good falsehoods and lies in compassion. Say good-bye to your faculty because now you are getting ready to go out there and do. These folks behind me are going to stay right here and teach.

Keep reading…